Letter to Myself

I wish when I was younger that I could have had the ability to read a letter from my older self.  I think a lot of the heartbreak, and a lot of the confusion wouldn’t have existed.  I understand that’s a part of life but a little warning would be nice sometimes.

So why not do it now?

Dear Younger Self,

You’re 23 now.  Surprisingly you’ve made it in one piece.  There is a lot that happens that you couldn’t even fathom.  The people that you always thought would be there are not there with you.  You will experience some tragic loss in the next few years, and it is going to hurt, terribly.  You’re coming up on the 3 year anniversary of your uncles death.  It still hurts a lot, but you’re making it.  There are constant reminders of him at every corner.  I know his is looking down on you with a smile.  Both of them actually.  Yes, you’ve lost both of your uncles at this point. I know that may seem shocking, and it still is for me.

Be prepared to lose people.  I’m sure by this point you realize you have some issues.  You’re still working through them, mostly on your own, but you’re making great strides on your own.  You’re strong!  Don’t forget that.

Sometimes it’s going to seem like things are a bit hopeless.  There is always a brighter tomorrow.  You have a great job now, and live a generally happy life.  With reasonable struggles of course.

Try to be a little more honest with people as you move forward.  You know a lot more about what’s going on with you than you’re willingly sharing with people.  Quit making them try to figure it out, and just tell them.  Things will go a lot smoother and it won’t be so exhausting on everyone.

I wish that I could write you a novel, but I have to leave some things as a surprise.  Keep fighting, never give up, and believe that it will get better no matter where you’re at.

One last thing, learn to use your voice.  You’re going to try to rely on others to help you find it, but they’re not going to.  You have to do it yourself.

Love,

Me

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